


The Science of Love

by parallelcurtains



Series: Social Media AUs [7]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Deaf Character, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Isak doesn't believe in love, M/M, Religious Parents, also he gets jealous, don't know how he even survived until now, fanart inspired, featuring my dog, he literally has no clue how to act, isak is an idiot, meanwhile even is whipped, religiously induced homophobia, sex buddies to lovers, until even comes along and proves him differently
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:27:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 125
Words: 15,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27724808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parallelcurtains/pseuds/parallelcurtains
Summary: Isak moves to Trondheim to start his BA in Biology at NTNU. There he immediately is mesmerized by his local barista Even. However, Even holds back due to his disability.
Relationships: Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen, Yousef Acar/Sana Bakkoush
Series: Social Media AUs [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1926439
Comments: 81
Kudos: 335





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, another one... huh? This one was inspired by the wonderful art of [Elli](https://www.instagram.com/elli_skam/) \- more precisely, a little comic series she did. Check it out on Instagram. Lovely art, all of it. <3
> 
> If you haven't read Social Media AUs before, it might take some time to get used to it. But basically, the story is made up of chats, tweets, and Instagram posts. The first part of my AUs is always a character introduction done by showing their Twitter (and sometimes Instagram profiles). I also like to use music in a way and I recommend listening to the songs I use (ksksks, no I do not have a great taste in music but they fit the story) and sometimes other elements. And there are written parts, too. You'll get the hang of it! :-) <3
> 
> Other things to mention:  
> \- English is not my first language + nothing of this is proof-read, mostly not even by myself because I'm lazy af.  
> \- the little time stamps on the posts can be ignored (unless I state otherwise) because they're annoying to adjust and - well, I'm lazy.


	2. Introductions I

**Sonja (Even's ex-girlfriend and co-worker at the coffee shop):**

**Even's best friends and roommates: Yousef & Mikael**

**Another friend of Even's: Frankie (we'll only meet them later in the story!)**


	3. Introductions II

**Jonas (Isak's best friend, stayed in Oslo)**

**Isak's new friends in Trondheim and his flatmates: Magnus & Mahdi**

**Sana (will also appear a little later into the story): Isak's study buddy and also Yousef's girlfriend**


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak thinks his new barista is cute.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The barista also thinks Isak is cute and hopes he'll come back.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak is spending too much money on coffee now.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even is whipped but insecure.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nosy flatmates give Even some wise words.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catching up with the best friend.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It isn't waste if you keep them... logical, right? ;-)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonja is cheering so hard for them.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's finally going to talk to him!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... this doesn't go as planned.

Isak's heart was beating so fast, he almost felt like he had just set a new world record in some kind of long-distance marathon discipline or something. And the only thing he had been doing was walking the very, very short distance from the bus stop to the coffee shop as slowly as possible while overthinking his decision to talk to him today and overanalyzing his choice of clothing. He shouldn't have picked this hoodie for this, should he?? It made him look like an immature idiot, didn't it?

Fuck, maybe he should just go home!

But before he could make a final decision about this, his feet had already carried him to the coffee shop and his hand had opened the door, making the bells ring above his head, announcing his arrival to the world. And to the barista - his barista - who was alone behind the counter, alone. His co-worker who was possibly his girlfriend who usually looked so nice but whom Isak hated simply for the fact that she might be his girlfriend. He really, really, really didn't want her to be his girlfriend, fuck. And he was relieved and at the same time scared that she was nowhere to be seen. There had been a - not so small - part of him that hoped she'd be there, just so that he could tell himself that he couldn't talk to him.

The barista smiled at him - a smile that lured Isak closer to the counter, even though he felt like his knees might give out under him anytime.

He was the only customer since he had made sure to come at a time when the shop usually wasn't busy - he sure as hell didn't want to have an audience for this!

When he opened his mouth to place his order, the barista already nodded, smirking wide, and turned around to get to work with the coffee machine. Isak stared at his back and then down to his ass, he just couldn't resist, because fuck that ass was amazing.

Okay, he had to focus, because otherwise he would just blurt out something stupid and embarrassing any moment now!

He turned his gaze away from that perfect backside and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. It didn't really work and also, his hands were shaking a little bit, but he tried anyway. He licked his lips quickly, before clearing his throat - to try to get rid of that lump again and to maybe already get the barista's attention.

"So... uhm, have you been working here for long?"

Isak wasn't sure if his voice was shaking, as well, and to because he was a nervous mess, he just kept babbling: "I just moved here from Oslo, you know? I started a BA in biology at the NTNU... Are you a student, too? I'm Isak, by the way..."

Once he had to stop for air, he realized he'd probably already said way too much and stopped to stare at the barista again. His barista wasn't reacting at all to his words. He just finished his order and passed the cup over the counter to Isak, smiling at him friendly, like he was just another customer and fuck... fuck, had he really misread all of this? Was he nothing more than another customer to him? Did he sketch and write cute stuff on everyone's cups? Fuck... was he just a flirt trying to get in someone's pants with this stuff? Did his girlfriend know about this stuff he pulled? Probably, she was usually right next to him... Why wasn't she today? She could've saved Isak from this humiliation!

Once Isak remembered that he was still standing in front of the counter like an idiot, he hurriedly grabbed the cup and tried to reciprocate the smile, before stumbling out of the coffee shop backward.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Isak's fail.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak is too embarrassed to go back.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even isn't quite sure what happened.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They miss each other.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will he or won't he get coffee?


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak gets some last-minute tips from Magnus, Sonja in the meantime has to calm Even's nerves.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe this went even worse than his first try...

To put it quite right, the boy looked really fucking cute and Even couldn't stop looking during that glorious minute or so that it took the boy to walk from the entrance door up to the counter – it felt like five, though, as it seemed like he was walking in slow motion. The sweet suspension was killing him. And when the boy finally stopped in front of the counter, Even was sure he had drooled all over himself and was probably looking like a complete fool.

However, he still tried to give the boy the cutest smile he could muster right now before he picked a cup from the pile to prepare his usual order.

But he abruptly stopped in his tracks when the boy's lips - wonderful lips, by the way, very kissable, with a sinful but also cute cupid's bow - moved. He was saying something and even though, Even was very bad at lip-reading, he knew that he wasn't trying to order something else. No, the cute boy was not placing an order, he was saying something to Even, he was talking to him, trying to tell him something – maybe, probably, most likely something important, because nothing that boy said to him could be insignificant.

Shit, fuck... Even hated everything right now. He wanted to hear the boy's voice so badly - not only to know what he was saying, but also because he wanted to know what someone this perfectly looking would sound like. Did he have a soft voice – soft like his eyes when he found the sketches on his cups or read the notes there? Or was it harsh like his fingers when he couldn't manage to open the little sugar sachets on the first try? No, a boy like this wouldn't have a harsh voice, that was not possible...

Fuck, Even, focus! He tore his gaze from the boy to look frantically for Sonja who was standing in the corner already looking at him, waiting for him to ask for help. Bless her for still being his friend – for actually being a way better friend than a girlfriend.

Isak was about to run out of that coffee shop and never come back, he even considered moving back to Oslo to escape the shame, when the barista's co-worker (girlfriend?) stepped up to the front of the counter.

This was the moment she was going to tell him to please fuck off and leave her boyfriend alone, right? Oh god, why did he come back? He should've just let it be! The barista had ignored him the first time around and now his girlfriend was going to tell him off, fuck...

As the girl started to make signs with her hands in rapid speed in the barista's direction, however, Isak gasped out loud. What the...? He kept staring at her while she was undoubtedly repeating what Isak had just said to the barista in sign language.

It took ages until it finally sank in and Isak wanted to hit his head on the countertop repetitively for at least the next hour while he would wait for the ground to swallow him up whole. Was he an actual idiot? Had he really been so damn fucking stupid and missed this?

Fuck, suddenly everything made so much sense... the notes and sketches on the cups to get his attention – no, to communicate with him –, the way he never waited until Isak actually placed an order but just got him his usual and of course, the fact that he had completely ignored his approach when Isak had tried to talk to him. He hadn't been looking at him, he had been busy with the coffee machine.

Oh god, Isak was an idiot! He should've noticed, he usually paid close attention to his surroundings, but the barista had him so awestruck that he hadn't seen anything but his beauty.

Isak snapped out of his thoughts when the barista started to move his own hands in response to the girl's translation. He was immediately mesmerized by the movements of those long, beautiful fingers.

Whatever he said, it made the girl smile at him fondly, before she turned to Isak – Isak who redden all down to his neck within a second because they were probably laughing at how stupid he was right now.

He wouldn't survive her telling him exactly that, so Isak just started to blurt out his apologies, before she was able to even open her mouth: "Listen, I'm sorry... I'm apparently an idiot. I didn't know, I didn't realize... And I know that he's your boyfriend and I'm sorry for... But with all the messages and the little sketches, I just... And he's just really cute and so beautiful that I..."

When he saw the barista's hand move in the corner of his eyes, Isak stopped talking to look down on the snippet of paper that had been shoved across the counter towards him.

_I've missed you._

Isak read it once, twice, three times and still couldn't quite believe his eyes.

That's when the girl jumped in: "It's alright, Isak." Had he mentioned his name in his approach to the barista? He couldn't even remember anymore. His eyes were still on those four words, his fingers brushing over the paper. _I've missed you._ "And he's not my boyfriend, not for three years, okay? So, no worries there, too. His name is Even, and he thinks you're cute, too, but don't tell him, I said that."

Isak's head was spinning with all the new information and he felt like sitting down while processing. Nevertheless, a smitten smile lit up his face: His barista was called Even, he thought Isak was cute, and he'd missed him. Isak took the piece of paper and folded it neatly before putting it away — he would keep it hidden away safely with his cups.

"I'm... I..." Isak stuttered, blushing again.

Shit, he was a disaster, wasn't he? He looked back and forth between Even and the girl, unsure of who he should look at - he wanted to talk to Even, but Even couldn't hear him, so he had to talk to his co-worker (not girlfriend!), right? But that felt weird, plus he didn't really know how to take his eyes away from Even for more than a moment or two. Also, he absolutely didn't want to tell her all the stuff he wanted to tell Even. He didn't know her, and he didn't like to share information with people he didn't know. Of course, he was aware of the fact that he didn't know Even either but with him it just felt different. It didn't feel like he didn't know him. Quite the contrary. Somehow it felt like he had known Even for a long time - from a past life maybe or a parallel universe, who the fuck knew.

But the fact that he didn't know how to talk to Even remained and it made him uncomfortable and also ashamed because that surely wasn't the proper way to handle this situation.

So, being the dramatic, idiotic mess that he was, he grabbed the coffee cup that didn't even contain his coffee yet and left.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This whole idiot gets a piece of mind from his bestie.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even is bumped, but thank God he has great flatmates.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Isak does have Even's number after all...?


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak researches how to not be an idiot.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak trying to figure out how to apologize to Even.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't make them fit into the writing area - so you'll have to pretend these are drafts and Isak hasn't sent any of these messages.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A whole idiot pulling an Eva.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thankfully, Even is amazing and Isak can finally apologize.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak slipped on Twitter.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's raining...


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected meeting in the rain.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, that escalated quickly.

Even put his phone away and gifted Isak with a bright smile, while nodding in the direction where he lived. Isak returned the smile and followed suit when Even started to walk in that direction - by now they were both completely soaked. And while Isak seemed to hate every second of this, Even was relishing it.

They didn't really interact while walking towards Even's home, but just feeling Isak so close to him made Even's skin tingle and his heart race.

They barely made it around the corner, when Even had to stop. He grabbed Isak's arm and turned the younger boy around until they were facing each other again. Isak looked up at him surprised and a little confused, but also somehow a little (or a little more) ... intrigued?! Even smiled at him while he took Isak's wet face between his hands - his thumbs stroking his cheeks, while his other fingers found their way into the blonde curls. Isak gasped and looked as if he was overwhelmed by the touch while savoring it at the same time. A sight that did things to Even - things that left him wanting more, so much more than just this little touch. And judging by the way Isak was already on his tiptoes, dipping his chin up - begging -, he wanted all these things too.

Even pulled him even closer, their soaked coats clinging together and Isak's hands finding their way to Even's neck before he put his lips on Isak's. The way those lips felt against his made him almost instantly feel a little dizzy.

He felt like devouring him, ravishing him. He felt Isak squirm as he deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue inside Isak's mouth.

Their kiss got heated so fast, Even felt like they set the rain around them on fire.

Time didn't matter anymore, so Even had no idea how much of it had passed, when they finally parted to suck some air into their lungs. What he knew was that he had to get Isak inside of his flat and out of his clothes.

As in now, right fucking now.

And he didn't waste a second as he grabbed Isak's hand, still panting, to run with him through the rain to his house. He dropped the keys twice before he finally managed to open the door - once inside, Even had to stop and kiss Isak again. They kissed and kissed and kissed all the way up to Even's flat on the third floor, where they crashed against the door.

Isak was already working on opening Even's coat while he struggled with his keys again, unable to give them his full attention, too busy with pushing his tongue inside Isak's mouth, exploring it. Once the door was opened, they stumbled inside, and Even lost his coat. They both got rid of their shoes, while Even took off Isak's coat as well. Even let his eyes wander over the boy in front of him, before pushing him towards his bedroom.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just flatmates being worried where their flatmates are.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gay panic at its best.

When Isak woke up, it was light outside already. Even was still fast asleep next to him, one arm wrapped around Isak's middle. For some seconds, while his brain was still working to fully wake up, Isak just laid there, enjoying the feeling that spread from his belly all over his body. He had had sex - amazing, marvelous, breathtaking sex - with Even. Twice. It had been the best sex he had ever had in his life - not that he had a lot to compare it with, but there had been some guys. Boys his age, a college student or two, and one older man, too.

But nothing could compare to the way Even had felt inside of him. And somehow Isak knew that nothing ever would either.

Once he fully came to his senses, Isak sat up in bed startled, Even's arm falling from where it had been down to his lap. Shit... he had had sex with Even - and now what?! He had no clue what was expected of him now, to be honest. Usually, when he had had sex before, it was either at his place and the guy had already left once he had woken up or they had parted ways right after. But what would Even want him to do? What did it even mean, them having had sex? Was it a one time - well, two times, but still a one-night stand - thing only? Or was it more? And what if it was more? Oh god, what if Even wanted a relationship?

Isak didn't know the first thing about relationships. His family had been broken way before he was old enough to even think about such things as love, relationships, and sex. He had ruined the relationship between his two best friends out of some weird feeling of jealousy and he himself never even had been in one or had even been close to getting into one.

Matter of fact, he simply didn't know how to have a relationship. Did he want to? Maybe. Did he want Even? Absolutely. Was he too fucking scared to even try? Most likely!

Carefully he moved Even's arm from his body and put it on the bed to not wake the older boy up. Once that was taken care of, Isak climbed out of bed just as cautiously. He really, really didn't want Even to wake up, before he was out of the flat. He didn't need him witnessing him panicking like a goddamn fool. It probably had been nothing more than sex for him anyway and here Isak was, getting ahead of himself and panicking over a possible but rather unlikely relationship with the guy.

Isak got dressed as quickly as possible without falling over, searching blindly for his glasses in the semi-darkness of the bedroom. He finally found them on the bedside table where Even had neatly placed them before they had all but jumped each other. After putting them on, he glanced at Even one more time, before quietly leaving his room and the flat.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mahdi is a good guy.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... no dating, huh?


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Supportive flatmates are the best flatmates!


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonja, the voice of reason.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even needs some music to wallow in peace.

I thought that I've been hurt before  
But no one's ever left me quite this sore  
Your words cut deeper than a knife  
Now I need someone to breathe me back to life

Got a feeling that I'm going under  
But I know that I'll make it out alive  
If I quit calling you my lover  
Move on

You watch me bleed until I can't breathe  
I'm shaking, falling onto my knees  
And now that I'm without your kisses  
I'll be needing stitches

I'm tripping over myself  
I'm aching, begging you to come help  
And now that I'm without your kisses  
I'll be needing stitches  


Just like a moth drawn to a flame  
Oh, you lured me in, I couldn't sense the pain  
Your bitter heart, cold to the touch  
Now I'm gonna reap what I sow  
I'm left seeing red on my own

Got a feeling that I'm going under  
But I know that I'll make it out alive  
If I quit calling you my lover  
Move on

You watch me bleed until I can't breathe  
I'm shaking, falling onto my knees  
And now that I'm without your kisses  
I'll be needing stitches

I'm tripping over myself  
I'm aching, begging you to come help  
And now that I'm without your kisses  
I'll be needing stitches

Needle and the thread  
Gotta get you out of my head  
Needle and the thread  
Gonna wind up dead

Needle and the thread  
Gotta get you out of my head  
Needle and the thread  
Gonna wind up dead

Needle and the thread  
Gotta get you out of my head  
Needle and the thread  
Gonna wind up dead

Needle and the thread  
Gotta get you out of my head  
Get you out of my head

You watch me bleed until I can't breathe  
I'm shaking, falling onto my knees (falling on my knees)  
And now that I'm without your kisses  
I'll be needing stitches (and I'll be needing stitches)

I'm tripping over myself  
I'm aching, begging you to come help (begging, baby, please)  
And now that I'm without your kisses  
I'll be needing stitches

And now that I'm without your kisses  
I'll be needing stitches  
And now that I'm without your kisses  
I'll be needing stitches


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak tries to get some relationship advice from his best friend.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being the scientist that he is, Isak has to research everything.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another talk that didn't go as planned.


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flatmates being supportive even if they don't understand what's going on. <3


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonja isn't quite as happy.


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak finds out that Sana knows Even.


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even is crushing hard and a little confused.


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak "relationships are stupid" Valtersen starts to learn NSL... but only because 3 % of the population speak it.


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sana's and Yousef's engagement party begins.


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus thinks the blonde guy is hot.


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh... soo... 👀


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the boy have some fun.


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These boys enjoy each other's company way too much for casual hook-ups.

Even was still feeling very out of breath as he was lying on his bed. But Isak right next to him was just as breathless, which was kind of satisfying. Smiling, Even turned from his back on his side, his hand gently stroking the sweaty skin of Isak's upper right arm.

The younger boy seemed to get the hint and turned his head to look at Even. As soon as he was met with the green of Isak's eyes, Even completely forgot why he had asked for the boy's attention at all. So, instead, he did the one thing he really, really wanted to do right now: He put his hand on Isak's cheek, stroking it softly while pulling him closer and straight into a kiss. He let his lips brush over Isak's lazily for quite a while to signal that he wasn't in need for round two but rather just wanted to kiss Isak, to feel him close, to feel his own heart pounding inside his chest and to hear the blonde boy sigh against his lips in what was clearly sheer bliss.

Even was pretty sure that the boy in his arms had never in his life been kissed like this ever. Yes, Isak had had sex before, for sure, and not only once. The way his body moved, the things his tongue could do were a very clear testimony... but the way he went all pliant whenever Even held him or the way he greedily received Even's soft touches spoke a very different language.

The language of a boy that was very much touch-starved and in desperate need of love.

And Even was definitely willing to give him all of his, even though he knew he wouldn't receive any in return. He didn't really care, he just wanted to see this boy happy and loved. It's what he deserved - and to be honest, kissing Isak like this was all the reward Even could ask for anyhow. It was one of the best feelings ever, if not the best.

So, what if it hurt that Isak didn't want more than this? This was more than enough for Even to forget about everything else - at least for now, while it lasted, while he could still taste Isak on the tip of his tongue.

They kept kissing for what felt like at least an hour until their lips were swollen and bruised and everyone at the party would know what they had been doing, but neither of them was able to give that a thought. And even if they could, they wouldn't care because it was just too good to care about anyone else.

When he finally parted from Isak's lips, his heart felt as swollen as his lips. He brushed his fingers through the blonde curls, but it was impossible to make them not look suspicious, so he let it go. Instead, he grabbed his sketchbook and pencil from his bedside table to write something down for Isak: _Should we go back to the party?_

Isak's eyebrows were furrowed as he searched for his glasses and then read the note. And for a second there, he almost looked like he didn't want to, but then he nodded and pushed himself out of bed.


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus never knows when to keep his mouth shut.


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't know who's more confused/surprised here: Isak or Sana?


	54. Chapter 54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He does not know how to do this. Not at all.


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The worst booty call in history ever.


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even appreciates Isak staying fit.


	57. Chapter 57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak Valtersen - disaster gay.


	58. Chapter 58

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonja checks in on Even.


	59. Chapter 59

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus single-handed saving Isak's hook-up.


	60. Chapter 60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak has an... let's say interesting idea, shenanigan ensues!

They continued kissing slowly and breathlessly and a little sloppy after they both had finished at the same time a couple of minutes or so ago - which Isak had no idea would feel this amazing. Seeing Even come undone above him had not only prolonged his own climax by at least a minute, but it also had done weird things to his stomach - if Isak didn't know better, he would've said it felt like butterflies were beating their wings inside of him - and to his thoughts, as well.

He was starting to think all kinds of stupid stuff such as how nice Even was and how good he felt when he was with Even. Not only when they were doing... things, but also in the moments before and after that while they were awkwardly trying to communicate as Isak didn't want Even to know about him learning NSL, at least not yet. It would be weird, wouldn't it? Everyone already thought that he had only started to learn sign language for Even - which was not true - and he didn't want Even to think that, too. After all, he only wanted to have sex with Isak and they didn't have to talk much to have that, did they? The consent was very clear to see on both ends and they showed each other how they liked to be touched, kissed, fucked, and what they wanted the other to do at what time.

So, no, there was no need for Even to know about Isak learning his language.

Isak stopped his train of thoughts by breaking loose from Even and sitting up in his bed to get his notepad from his nightstand where he had placed it before Even's arrival. He already had drawn three columns, writing Even's and his name on top of two of them. In the first column, he had put the dates of the next fifteen or so days — he wasn't sure how far ahead Even's work schedule was planned, so he had stopped after a while because he didn't want Even to think that Isak just assumed he had his whole November already planned out. Even would probably think he was weird anyway if he'd explain what the reason behind this timetable was, so he didn't want to add to that feeling.

After realizing he couldn't read shit of the things he had written down in his column, Isak started to search for his glasses all over the place.

It felt like minutes passed before Even tapped him on the shoulder and held out his glasses to him with a bright smile. Isak gulped at him a little, before taking them and putting them onto his nose. Just in time to see Even's finger move closer and closer and closer to his hand. Isak was about to move his slightly shaking hand away quickly, but then he figured Even was going for the paper between his hands. With the tip of his long index finger Even drew a question mark over Isak's table, obviously confused by its meaning.

Isak didn't know what made him do it, but instead of just showing Even with his own finger, he put his hand on top of Even's and directed it towards the small paragraph he had written out for him on the bottom of the page. It made his skin tingle and it made his heart rate go up, but that was probably just from the afterglow, right?

However, he couldn't take his eyes off Even, while he was reading what Isak had written down. Even's smile morphed into a frown and then he started laughing — it was loud, it was bright, and it made his eyes nearly disappear because his whole face was laughing and wrinkling. And even though, it was rude of Even to laugh about his proposition, Isak wanted him to either never stop laughing or that he would be able to make Even laugh this freely more often. It was a gift to the world that laugh, really.

Even snatched the pen Isak had clipped to the notepad, while Isak was still too fascinated by his laugh that had smoothed into a broad smile to complain about being ridiculed by his hook-up like that.

Even though Isak was constantly staring at Even, he was taken by absolute surprise when Even kissed his cheek shortly, before starting to write quickly next to Isak's explaining paragraph. Isak felt his cheeks getting all hot and placed a hand over the spot Even had kissed, while following every movement of Even's large hand with his eyes.

_You really want us to create a hook-up schedule, Isak? Jeez, I don't even know where to start with his... What do we do when we don't feel like sex but have an "appointment"? What if something comes up on short notice? But okay, let's do it... if that will help you or whatever._

Frowning Isak took the pen from Even to start writing, a little furious now for being made fun of like that.

_Listen, we don't have to do this at all. But I just thought, since both of us are apparently unable to ask for it just like that, that this would be a good idea... Of course, either of us can cancel any pre-arranged time if something comes up or if we don't feel..._

Even took away the pen from Isak mid-sentence and as soon as Isak turned his face towards him to show him his annoyance, Even pressed his lips to Isak's demandingly. Confused, but willingly Isak reciprocated and let go of the notepad that skidded down his legs and onto the duvet at his feet.

The kiss got heated quickly, but before they got started all over again, Even broke away and grabbed the notepad again.

_Let's do this later... I'm fine with whatever works for you, Isak. But now I really, really, really need you to do other stuff with your hands._

The notepad went flying within seconds and Even had no idea whether it was his or Isak's doing, but he didn't care either way. The pen followed just as quickly, before Even carefully took off Isak's glasses, folded them, and set them neatly on the nightstand. For that, he had to lean over Isak, but he really didn't mind feeling the still somewhat sweaty skin underneath his.

Once he had put down the glasses and moved back, he stopped mid-track to put his lips on the first patch of Isak's skin that he could reach – which turned out to be his shoulder. Even kissed and licked and nibbled until he was rewarded with a little moan that he only just caught from the corner of his eye and Isak sinking back down into his cushion.

With a radiant smile Even dove down to kiss along Isak's collarbone and then up his neck until he reached his lips again to engage him in another heated kiss. He could feel Isak's moans vibrate against his lips - or was it actually his? He didn't know, he didn't care anymore either. He just wanted to feel Isak close to him again, kiss him again, touch him again.

Isak bit his lip to reclaim his attention, as he was apparently getting lost in his own head. Even broke the kiss, just to stick his tongue out at Isak and then licked his nose, which made the smaller boy snort. Laughing he wrapped his thin arms around Even's neck and pulled him in for another kiss. Even complied and pushed his tongue inside Isak's mouth to lick every inch he could reach, until Isak used his own tongue to battle his.

The kiss made Even's head spin and his dick hard. Jeez, he was crazy for that boy. And he knew that that wasn't good when Isak didn't want him in the same way, but there was nothing he could do about it.

So, instead, for the moment, he got lost in the imagination that Isak reciprocated all his feelings and not just the hominess — which probably would make things worse in the long run, but he just couldn't bring himself to care, to mind, to fight. Isak tapped him against the shoulder, pulled free from the kiss, and made a face that asked _Can you focus?_ Even answered with an apologetic look before he pressed his lips against Isak's jaw. He kissed and licked along the jawline and then moved on to his neck, feeling Isak swallow heavily beneath his lips.

It was way too hot in the room by now and Even kicked at the duvet that was still covering their feet until it fell off the bed. Better!

Even took his sweet time kissing all the way down Isak's torso, making sure to not neglect an inch of his skin, paying special attention to his hard nipples, and taking in every toss and turn of Isak's body responding to his touches.

Once he reached Isak's navel, he licked inside it several times, coaxing a high-pitched laugh out of the younger boy that vibrate through Even's whole body, making him shiver. Even licked at his navel again and again, until Isak pushed a firm hand into his already disheveled hair and tried to direct him lower. Now it was Even's turn to laugh lowly at Isak's demanding neediness. But he followed his command anyway, kissing down Isak's soft hairline to his crotch.

When he looked up at Isak, Even found that the other boy was already looking down at him; his cheeks flushed, his hair a mess and his lips slightly opened. They now formed a pleading _please_ for Even. Or more like a _please, please, please!_ A plea Even was more than willing to fulfill.

He didn't take his eyes off Isak's while opening his lips and slowly sinking his head to take him into his mouth. The grip in his hair instantly got firmer and he could feel that Isak had a hard time keeping himself from pushing his head further down. Even smiled around Isak's dick before taking him deeper in. He hadn't done this very often and never before with Isak. But the other boy's reactions were so very obviously filled with pleasure that Even's insecurities didn't stand a chance.

Even lost track of time while blowing Isak, he got completely lost in both of their pleasures. He would've continued until his jawbone would hurt. But Isak pulled on his hair after god knows how many minutes and Even let go, licking his lips as he searched Isak's face for an answer as to why the other boy had stopped him. He got his answer in form of a condom and the lube bottle that was pushed into his hands.

It made him moan loudly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I have to up the rating? I'm not actually sure if this counts as explicit content?!


	61. Chapter 61

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The schedule.


	62. Chapter 62

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even has to whine about Isak's cuteness to his best friend.


	63. Chapter 63

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're waiting for their next meeting.


	64. Chapter 64

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sight worth seeing.


	65. Chapter 65

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... they're desperate.


	66. Chapter 66

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, they're adapting their schedule.


	67. Chapter 67

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What love actually is.


	68. Chapter 68

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's not in love...

I'm not in love  
So don't forget it  
It's just a silly phase I'm going through  
And just because I call you up  
Don't get me wrong  
Don't think you've got it made  
I'm not in love  
No, no  
It's because  
  
I'd like to see you  
But then again  
It doesn't mean you mean that much to me  
So if I call you  
Don't make a fuss  
Don't tell your friends about the two of us  
I'm not in love  
No, no  
It's because

Be quiet... big boys don't cry  
Big boys don't cry  
Big boys don't cry  
Big boys don't cry  
Big boys don't cry  
Big boys don't cry  
Big boys  
  
I keep your picture  
Upon the wall  
It hides a nasty stain that's lying there  
So don't you ask me  
To give it back  
I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me  
I'm not in love  
No, no  
It's because  
  
Ooh, you'll wait a long time for me  
Ooh, you'll wait a long time  
Ooh, you'll wait a long time for me  
Ooh, you'll wait a long time  
  
I'm not in love, so don't forget it  
It's just a silly phase I'm going through  
And just because I call you up  
Don't get me wrong  
Don't think you've got it made, ooh  
I'm not in love, I'm not in love


	69. Chapter 69

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello to Frankie. 👀


	70. Chapter 70

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even has the hots for Isak sharing nerdy facts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi to everyone who knows me from Twitter, just letting you know that for now, my AUs will only be available on here since I deactivated my Twitter account. I don't know if I'll reverse that decision or not... But I will post all of them here and once I finished the current one, it will also end up on here, so either way, you'll be able to read them (again) eventually.


	71. Chapter 71

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak googles animal facts to tell to Even... <3


	72. Chapter 72

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Frankie.


	73. Chapter 73

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... are they dating or not?


	74. Chapter 74

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak accidentally meets Frankie.

It was late in the morning on Saturday when Isak suddenly felt like coffee. And since they didn't have milk at home, he had to go out and get some. Or he could just go to the coffee shop... Yes, he would see Even tonight, but wasn't it just way more convenient to go to the coffee shop and get his coffee from there instead of going to the supermarket to buy some milk and then go home to make his own coffee? It was, wasn't it?

About 40 minutes later, Isak found himself in front of the KB, thinking about what excuse he could give Even for showing up at noon when they'd be meeting in about 8 hours anyway. He was so deep in thought, he didn't even see the person coming out of the cafe's door, as he was about to enter. He just ran straight into her, letting out a confused yelp as he finally realized what was happening.

It was nothing but a quick reflex that made him catch the person's coffee cup before it could fall on the ground and spill its contents. Instead, Isak himself landed on the hard concrete, butt first.

More than confused he looked up at the person, a girl about Even's age probably, and then at the cup in his hand. It had Even's handwriting on it. And even though, Isak knew that he was being rude and that it was none of his business and that he really, really shouldn't, he quickly read the message from Even on the girl's cup: _You're the sweetest. Thx for last night. <3_

And then, suddenly, he felt like someone was stabbing a knife right into his chest with quick and sharp jabs. Isak had no idea what was happening, it made him gasp out loud.

Was this how a heart attack felt? No, that couldn't be it... he was way too young and didn't belong to any of the typical at-risk groups. Also, the pain would've spread to his arms, which it didn't. It just felt like someone repeatedly stabbed him right in the heart.

"Are you okay there?" The girl asked, one of her hands dangling in front of Isak's face, ready to help him up. Isak looked at it confused for a moment, still out of it from the pain in his chest that was slowly dulling, before taking it and hoisting himself up with the girl's help.

When he stood in front of her and looked at her directly, he wasn't even quite sure if it was a girl anymore... But then again what did it matter?! Even had had a girlfriend before, so he was either bi or pan or something that wasn't 100% gay or straight, so it didn't matter if that person was a boy or a girl or neither or both. The only thing Isak knew for sure was that Even had spent the night with them. And that he had thanked them for it and that he thought they were sweet and...

Wait, why did he even care?

It wasn't like Even owed him faithfulness or like they had feelings for each other, so Even could spend the nights with whomever he wanted to. Though it did make him wonder, why Even hadn't just asked him to add another date to their schedule if he wanted, needed to have more sex? He even mentioned that Friday night was still open if Isak should get too desperate... but it had been him that had gotten desperate instead, but he hadn't called Isak.

Was this person better at sex, maybe? Or did Even find them more attractive than Isak?

Someone was suddenly stabbing at his chest again and Isak frowned. What the actual fuck was going on here?

"Seriously, dude, are you alright?"

Eventually, Isak managed to shrug out of his stupor and to look at the person in front of him, actually taking them in for the first time. They were kind of attractive in their own way, not at all Isak's type, but that didn't have to mean anything; he was a bit specific and a little particular, to be honest.

Isak held out the coffee cup for them, while finally replying: "Yeah, sorry... I was just a bit shocked, I guess... And I'm really, really sorry for running into you like that... I was just a bit lost in my own thoughts. Sorry about that, enjoy your coffee. Bye."

And with that, he pushed the cup in their hand and turned around to walk back to the tram station in fast strides.


	75. Chapter 75

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak is scared he just had a heart attack or something. He's an idiot!


	76. Chapter 76

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak blows off his meeting with Even.


	77. Chapter 77

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His flatmates are worried about Isak.


	78. Chapter 78

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even talks to the boys about Isak and reveals what he and Frankie actually did last night!


	79. Chapter 79

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even has some doubts, Sonja suggests talking to Isak.


	80. Chapter 80

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sitting, waiting, wishing for Isak.

Well I was sitting, waiting, wishing  
You believed in superstitions  
Then maybe you'd see the signs  
  
Lord knows that this world is cruel  
And I ain't the Lord no I'm just a fool  
And a loving somebody don't make them love you  
  
Must I always be waiting, waiting on you?  
Must I always be playing, playing your fool?  
  
I sang your songs, I danced your dance  
I gave your friends all a chance  
Putting up with them wasn't worth never having you  
  
Aw, maybe you've been through this before  
But it's my first time so please ignore  
The next few lines 'cause they're directed at you  
  
I can't always be waiting, waiting on you  
I can't always be playing, playing your fool

I keep playing your part  
But it's not my scene  
Want this plot to twist  
I've had enough mystery  
  
Keep building it up  
But then you're shooting me down  
But I'm already down  
Just wait a minute  
  
Just sitting, waiting  
Just wait a minute  
Just sitting, waiting  
  
Well if I was in your position  
I'd put down all my ammunition  
I'd wonder why it had taken me so long  
  
But Lord knows that I'm not you  
And if I was I wouldn't be so cruel  
Because waiting on love ain't so easy to do  
  
Must I always be waiting, waiting on you?  
Must I always be playing, playing your fool?  
  
No I can't always be waiting, waiting on you  
I can't always be playing, playing your fool, fool


	81. Chapter 81

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The <3 incident.


	82. Chapter 82

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yousef might understand Isak better than Even does.


	83. Chapter 83

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why do people send heart emojis?


	84. Chapter 84

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonas, once again, trying to talk some sense into Isak.


	85. Chapter 85

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The little idiot-scientist makes another research...


	86. Chapter 86

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is he in love?


	87. Chapter 87

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even finds out about the cups.


	88. Chapter 88

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak talks in NSL for the first time and is brave enough to ask Even about Frankie. They have an eye-opening talk, I'd say.

Even didn't have the chance to ask about the cups, as Isak all but jumped him as soon as the door to his room closed behind him. And who was Even to say no to that? They could still talk after sex, right?! Right.

And then after sex turned into after cuddles and after cuddles turned into after a quick cleaning themselves up and then after that they were back atop Isak's bed, sharing soft, languished kisses, and Even still hadn't brought the cups up. He wasn't even quite sure why not; he only knew that at that moment right there he was scared of it changing things between them for the worse instead of for better. He's scared that Isak will deny his feelings, as that would be a very Isak thing to do, wouldn't it? Isak might just write it off as a stupid thing he didn't even think about and Even would probably believe him, too. Because why not? It has always been like that for him, except with Sonja... so why should Isak be any different?

Before he could get lost further in his depressing thoughts, Isak tapped him on his still naked shoulder - they had only put on boxer shorts after their clean up - to get his attention. Even frowned at him inquiringly and gasped in disbelief when Isak started to move his hands. It took his brain at least 30 seconds to catch up with the meaning of what his eyes were seeing.

Isak was signing to him. Isak knew Norwegian Sign Language. Isak was talking to him in sign language. Isak had learned NSL... Why had he learned NSL? When had he even started to learn it? Shit.

Even was so surprised by the fact that Isak spoke his language that he was unable to catch what he was saying. His mind was racing, and he stared at Isak who quickly blushed all down to his neck probably thinking that he had done it all wrong. So, Even tried to get a grip on himself to put Isak out of his misery: 'Sorry, I was just surprised and didn't pay attention. Can you repeat that, please?'

Instead of relaxing, Isak blushed even more and for a second, he looked like he wanted to hide his face. But then he took a deep breath and repeated himself. 'Is she or he... they? Are they prettier than me? Do you find them more attractive?'

For a second Even wanted to ask Isak to repeat again, because he had no fucking idea what he was trying to say, but he stopped himself, not wanting to make the situation even worse for the other boy. 'Who are you talking about? And what exactly do you mean by that? Why do you think someone is prettier than you?' _Idiot, no one can ever be as pretty as you. You're the most beautiful person on this planet, Isak Valtersen._ 'And why do you ask that like I should know exactly who you're talking about?'

'Well, because I thought there was only one other person, you're sleeping with,' Isak replied, then he paused for a second and his face fell. 'Maybe that was stupid of me.'

What the fuck was this stupid boy talking about now? Even didn't have sex with another person and least of all with several other people. He didn't even want to have sex with anyone but Isak. How did Isak come to this conclusion, for fuck's sake?

Even sighed and put a hand to Isak's face that he had turned away from him. He waited for his beautiful, stupid, clever boy to look at him, and when he finally did, Even gave him the softest, most loving gaze. 'You really are stupid, Isak,' he said and Isak wanted to lower his eyes again, but Even was quick to stop him before he continued: 'You are the most stupid clever person on earth if you really think that I would find someone prettier than you or that I would sleep with someone else... Why do you think that?'

'Because I ran into her... them... at the coffee shop and I saw your handwriting on the cup. You thanked them for last night and stuff... I mean, it's okay. You can sleep with whomever you want, Even. Of course, you can. I really have no say on that at all, I know that... I was just wondering why you need someone else when we meet every other day. Why I'm just not enough.'

The last words were signed very slowly and Even could feel Isak retreat from him, scooting back to the other end of the bed and he knew there was more behind those words. Probably something along the lines of why am I never enough? A feeling he knew all too well.

'You're enough, Isak,' he thus replied. 'More than enough, okay? Don't ever think that you're not.'

Isak shrugged and Even tried to kiss the frown off his face after he had crawled all the way towards him but it didn't work. So, Even moved back a little and started to talk again: 'Okay, well... you met Frankie. They are a good friend of mine and they helped me with something, Isak. My application for photography school to be precise. I didn't sleep with them, I never have, and I never will. I've also not slept with someone else since I met you. I'd never!'

Again, Isak was frowning, but this time it was mostly confusion. 'Why wouldn't you? You can do what you want, sleep with whom you want...'

Even interrupted him right there before he could say more dumb shit: 'Maybe I could, but I don't want to, Isak. I only want to have sex with you. Do you think that maybe you could get that into that thick head of yours?'

Another frown. 'I just... I don't... Why? You're good looking, you're nice... boys, girls, whoever would want to have sex with you. Why me?'

'Why you - really, Isak? I really, really thought you were the most intelligent person, I've ever met, but I guess that is the one thing where I was wrong about you, huh? You're amazing, Isak Valtersen. I've had my eyes on you since the first time you walked into the coffee shop and tripped over your own feet. It was so endearing how you got all embarrassed and checked if anyone had noticed... And you looked very hot, too, of course. You're the most beautiful person on this planet, but that's not why, Isak. It's because I just... I had a feeling about you. I knew you were special.'

The look on Isak's face went from confusion to surprise. Then it got just the tiniest little bit soft. Even had to bite his lip to stop himself from smiling too hard at his dumb boy - who, of course, had to dismiss this: 'I'm not special, Even. I'm just book smart and a little sassy...'

Even put his hand around Isak's before he could continue. Isak gasped a little and then confined himself to staring at their hands in front of his chest. He used his other hand to continue: 'Don't be dumb now again, Isak. You're special; you're beautiful, you're funny, you're clever, sassy, caring, honest... and yes, sometimes you can also be grumpy and sneaky - and also dumb in certain matters, but it makes you all the more interesting. For real, Isak, you're special. And you're very special to me.' Before Isak could protest again, Even also took his other hand and then press his lips against Isak's.

And after he had kissed Isak's irritation away, his kiss was reciprocated, and the younger boy freed his hands to wrap his arms around Even's neck. He pulled him in so far that he lost his balance and they fell backward on top of the bed, Even atop of Isak. However, Even broke the kiss, when Isak started to snort with laughter. It hadn't been that funny, but seeing Isak laugh so carefree and bright, made Even laugh himself.

Isak wasn't sure for how long they had laughed, until Even got off him and sat cross-legged in front of him, looking him straight in the eyes. Isak was squirming a little under the gaze of those blue eyes. He wasn't sure what to expect now or what Even expected of him. Should he say something? He didn't know what to say. He liked what Even had said to him, even though he didn't quite agree with him. But he didn't understand what it meant, what he was supposed to do or say now, what would happen next. Should he tell Even that he thought he was hot and cute, that he had had an eye on him from the first day, too? There was no time for him to make up his mind and maybe that was for the best since he probably would have just made a fool out of himself - without knowing why, when, or how - again.

Even was signing to him again and Isak had to shake out of his thoughts to catch up: '... I swear, I really wasn't snooping. But uhm... yeah, I saw the cups. You — you kept them all.'

Isak felt himself blush hot and deep all down to his neck as soon as Even had signed the word _cups_. Fuck, he had completely forgotten about those. Yes, he kind of had put them somewhere where Even might find them deliberately to prove a point — which one, he didn't know, but it had felt like something he had to do. But by now he had genuinely forgotten about putting them there hoping Even would find them. "I... uhm... yeah, I guess..." Isak mumbled, so embarrassed and nervous about this, he completely forgot about sign language. "I just... I thought it was... nice of you, sweet. I don't know..."

Isak stopped in his track when Even put a hand on his arm and made him look up to him again. Even shrugged a little and Isak blushed even more while freeing his arm. 'I'm sorry... I got a bit lost... Yeah, I've kept them... I'm not sure why... but I did...'

Even smiled at him wide and moved a hand into Isak's hair to brush some locks out of his face. 'I tell you why,' he signed with his free hand. 'It's because you like me, too, Isak.'

Isak swallowed hard around those words. But then again it was true... he liked Even, he liked him a lot and that was okay, right? He could like Even, yes, that he could. Liking someone and having sex with them, didn't mean love.

Isak chewed on his lip while staring at Even, thinking about what to say to him. Maybe he could be honest - a little, at least? Even had put that on the list of things he liked about him after all. 'Okay, maybe I like you, yes... But I don't do love and relationships. It's bullshit.'

Even looked a bit taken aback, but his smile was back within seconds, even if it was wavering just the slightest bit. 'Uh... okay. We don't have to be in a relationship then, Isak. We can just... continue meeting each other, but not just to have sex. We can do other things, too. Maybe like friends who like each other and sleep together sometimes... if you want, we can even make a new schedule for this new... thing. We can plan what you want to do ahead of time, even. If that'll help you with making this work and all.'

Yes, love was bullshit, relationships were bullshit, but the way Isak's heart was about to jump out of his chest and attach itself to Even's felt very, very real right now.

Isak nodded slowly, letting out his breath while trying to calm his beating heart down. His heart rate must've been around 200 bpm, at least, and that was rather unhealthy. 'Yes, I'd... I'd like that, I think.'


	89. Chapter 89

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're now officially friends who like each other and have sex.


	90. Chapter 90

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They plan a joint visit to the shelter.


	91. Chapter 91

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good times at the shelter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meet my dog that my family adopted last year. <3


	92. Chapter 92

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even cannot believe the fact that Isak will be alone on Christmas. Isak cannot believe that Even cares.


	93. Chapter 93

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even's parents agree to have Isak over for the holidays.


	94. Chapter 94

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another trip to the shelter.


	95. Chapter 95




	96. Chapter 96

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak has an important question to ask of his fellow scientist.


	97. Chapter 97

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He eventually also dares to ask another important question.


	98. Chapter 98

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure he's convinced?!


	99. Chapter 99

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Progress at last... thank you, Jonas!


	100. Chapter 100

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This talk was a mind-blowing revelation for Isak.


	101. Chapter 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even updated their schedule.


	102. Chapter 102

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak is nervous about meeting the parents.


	103. Chapter 103

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak's now playing.

When you were here before  
Couldn't look you in the eye  
You're just like an angel  
Your skin makes me cry  
  
You float like a feather  
In a beautiful world  
I wish I was special  
You're so fucking special  
  
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo  
What the hell am I doing here?  
I don't belong here  
I don't care if it hurts  
  
I want to have control  
I want a perfect body  
I want a perfect soul  
I want you to notice

When I'm not around  
You're so fucking special  
I wish I was special  
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo  
  
What the hell am I doing here?  
I don't belong here  
She's running out the door  
She's running  
She run, run, run, run  
Run

  
Whatever makes you happy  
Whatever you want  
You're so fucking special  
I wish I was special  
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo  
What the hell am I doing here?  
I don't belong here  
I don't belong here


	104. Chapter 104

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak isn't sure what families do for Christmas...


	105. Chapter 105

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sneaky Even.


	106. Chapter 106

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They arrive at Even's parents!

By the time Even parked the car in front of the small house on the road corner, Isak was reduced to nothing more than a bundle of nerves or a ball of anxiety. He was going to meet Even's parents in a minute now and he still wasn't sure what to expected or how to behave. What should he even call them? Mr. and Mrs. Bech Næsheim? Were both of them even called that?

A tap on his arm made him snap out of his thoughts. Even smiled at him encouragingly, while stroking his arm. The touch was soft, but it left goosebumps all over his body nonetheless. Isak had to gulp and missed the first word of Even signing to him because he closed his eyes while doing so: '... be fine. You don't have to worry, Isak. I promise.'

Isak nodded slowly while removing his seatbelt in an equally slow way to gain time for calming his nerves. 'Yes, I know... it's just that... I'm not good with... I never had to... interact with parents?!'

Instead of replying, Even put his hand to Isak's neck and pulled him in to place the softest kisses on his cheeks, his eyebrows, and then his lips. He left Isak thunderstruck and more than speechless with his tenderness. He bit his lip and then leaned in for an actual kiss because he didn't know what else to do. But Even didn't seem to mind too much. His other hand found a place on Isak's side, under his jacket, while he reciprocated the kiss.

Isak was just about ready to force Even out of his clothes and take him in the car when a knock on the window had them recoil from each other within a second. A blush was already spreading all over his face, but when he looked out of the window to see a woman smiling at them who couldn't be anyone but Even's mother, he all but begged for the ground to swallow him up whole. He had planned his first interactions with Even's parents meticulously to make sure that he'd make a good first impression — and now this! She had caught him eating her son's face in the car right on their driveway. Wow! Was there anything that could be more embarrassing for a first meeting? Even spilling wine on her dress tonight would've been less embarrassing and he still wasn't clear of that.

Even next to him looked more amused than embarrassed and unbuckled himself to get out of the car to greet his mother. Isak was more than reluctant to follow him — not only out of embarrassment but also because he sported a semi in his jeans. And he really didn't want Even's mother to see that, too, when he greeted her.

But eventually, he had to get out of the car, as it would've been just awkward otherwise. He tried to pull down his jacket as far as possible, before approaching the woman that looked so much like Even that it made Isak like her in an instant.

She signed something to her son that made Even laugh wide and bright before she turned her attention to Isak who was busy gaping in wonder at Even's crinkled face. A sight he just couldn't get enough of and a sight that made him almost forget Even's mother once again.

At least until she was standing right in front of him - smiling at him as wide as Even usually did. "Well, you must be Isak then... I'm so happy to meet you," she said, finally getting all of Isak's attention to herself. Isak nodded carefully and was ready to hold out his hand to shake hers when he was caught off guard by getting pulled in a tight hug. He gasped, almost choked while uselessly freezing in her arms. "I'm Sigrid," she said close to his ear, almost whispering. "Don't you even dare to call me anything but that, alright? I hope you'll feel at home here, Isak. And don't be shy to ask for anything you need or want, okay?"

Isak barely managed to nod, while desperately trying to stop his eyes from spilling the tears that seemed to be rather determined to fall and spoil Sigrid's dress.

When Isak, having swallowed his tears, was ready to pull back from the hug, Sigrid just pulled him in closer, patted his back, and then stroked at his curls. Isak wasn't quite sure what to do - he didn't know her, so this was kind of weird, but the hug felt good - warm and safe, just like a mother's hug ought to feel. Not that he'd know, but he read it somewhere.

It was Even that freed him from his inner conflict, tapping on his mother's shoulder. 'I think you're squashing him, mum. It's kind of cold out here, too.'

Sigrid nodded, before quickly wiping at her eyes with her sleeve. 'Yes, yes... let's get inside, boys.'

Sigrid led the way, while Even opened the trunk for them to get out their bags. 'I'm sorry about that,' he said, after closing the trunk again. 'She is a hugger... Maybe I should've warned you.'

Isak shrugged, shouldered his bag, and then followed Even's mother to the house. He took a look around, taking in his surroundings, but all he could really see besides the road and the neighboring houses were trees upon trees coated in snow. Maybe he had just been dropped into a Christmas tale – falling through a rabbit's hole, like Alice in Wonderland?!

Even pushed him forward, before he could think too much. The older boy's bulge pressing against Isak's ass reminding him that this was quite real. Isak didn't have to turn his head to know that Even was quietly laughing into his scarf - the bastard!

The house was charming and cozy, it was everything Isak expected after this warm welcome. And so was Even's dad. His laugh was booming, his voice deep and his hug was firm but gentle. And Isak didn't know what to do, think, or say.

Was this what families did on Christmas?


	107. Chapter 107

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's safe to say they love Isak, I think.


	108. Chapter 108

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Horny boys.


	109. Chapter 109

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak acquaintances himself with Even's dad.

Once they were back downstairs - after a good thirty minutes of kissing, kissing, touching and even more kissing - Even disappeared straight into the kitchen to help his mother with the food, telling Isak that he 'could go talk to my dad. I'm sure you'll like him, you two have a lot in common.'

Isak was a) sure that Even had just said that to be polite and b) very uncomfortable with the idea to start a conversation with an adult (of course, he was kind of an adult, too, being almost 20 years old, but like a real adult, is what he meant). But lurking around in the hallway would be really creepy and staying in Even's room would be very impolite bordering towards rude.

So, Isak gathered all his courage and stepped into the living room where Even's father was sitting on the large sofa, glasses on, and read the newspaper. Insecure, Isak made a hesitant step forwards into the room and stopped again - remembering how his father would usually react if interrupted while reading the newspaper.

Before Isak could decide what would be the best thing to do, Jan put down the newspaper and smiled at Isak. "Come, sit down... Even, told me you study biology," he said, almost sounding enthusiastic. He took his glasses off and gestured for Isak to sit down. "Did he tell you that I used to work at one of the research centers of your university?"

Isak stared at him open-mouthed. "What? No, he didn't... You did???"

"Yeah, I studied biology, too," Jan replied, smiling at Isak. "I studied in Bergen, though. Then I met Sigrid, moved to Trolla, and did my Ph.D. at NTNU. I wasn't sure where to go from there, but they offered me a position as a teaching assistant and researcher. Later, I was promoted and became a full-time re-searcher until I retired last year."

Isak's eyes got bigger and bigger, as Jan kept talking about his career and the research he did on molecular inflammation while working at the university.

"How about you, Isak? What are your interests? What do you want to do after finishing your degree?" Jan asked once they had covered what was probably every aspect of the research he had done.

Isak blushed a little, confused by the interest in his plans. He recovered quickly, though, getting used to the fact that Even's parents seemed to be quite nice. "I want to do my master's degree in Neuroscience and then also go into research. I love molecular biology, physiology, evolution, and all that, but like... the brain really fascinates me, you know? We know so little about how our brains function and I want to find out more."

Jan nodded, his smile a little tighter now, though. "That's great, Isak! Had I known that... I might have taken that road, too."

Isak frowned: "Had you known what?"

"Oh, no, no... nothing, I shouldn't have said that... So, how have you and Even met?"


	110. Chapter 110

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak is being cute.


	111. Chapter 111

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How to say "I love you"?


	112. Chapter 112

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is how you do it (not).

When Even was done preparing dinner with his mum, he was sure that she already loved Isak as much as he did. She kept going on and on about how sweet and polite he was all the way through preparing Isak's favorite dessert. She had insisted on making it, once she had forced Even to find out what it was (it was Dronning Maud pudding). Even couldn't wait to see Isak's face when he would see it... They only had talked about it that one time and he was sure that Isak wouldn't expect this at all.

To be quite honest, Even was still a bit worried that Isak could feel overwhelmed by all of this. From the little they had talked about Isak's family, Even gathered that there hadn't been anyone in his life taking care of his wants and needs or bothering to make his day a little better with small gestures.

Well, that would definitely be changing now. He'd be showered with love — both by his mum and Even himself, whether he wanted to or not. He would have to learn to accept it sooner or later since Even wouldn't, couldn't, didn't want to stop.

Even was just leaving the kitchen with the salad bowl in his hands, when Isak came down the stairs freshly changed. And he was indeed wearing some nice pants and a damn fine dress shirt that looked like it was fitted to his body perfectly, showing off his abs. And Isak had just left enough buttons open from the top down for Even to go wild. Actually, he almost dropped the bowl in his hands while gapping at Isak who had stopped on the bottom step.

'Uhm... hi...' Isak greeted, nervously playing with the hem of his shirt in between signs. 'Is this okay?'

Okay??? Even would’ve laughed if he wasn't preoccupied with staring Isak up and down. 'It is... it's perfect, actually,' he finally answered after shoving the bowl in Isak's hand. 'Can you bring this into the dining room? Then I'll go change, too.' He hadn't planned to since they usually spent Christmas in comfy clothes, but he didn't want Isak to feel weird about this since he had been the one to tell him to dress nice.

*

After dinner, they relocated themselves to the living room, where Isak was now talking to Even's mum. And while he had expected to be overwhelmed or weirded out, Isak just felt... good. Sigrid was probably the nicest, most caring, and lovable person Isak had met in his entire life, ever — well, besides Even, maybe. Not only had she prepared Isak's favorite dessert; no she had also made Isak an extra portion of salad because it had contained walnuts and Isak was allergic to walnuts — a thing he couldn't even remember mentioning to Even.

Yet, Even had remembered, because Even cared. A fact that did things to Isak —especially to his stomach and his heart. He just felt like he belonged here, like he was wanted, like Even's parents actually enjoyed his presence and wanted to get to know him.

Before Isak had a chance to get too lost in his own thoughts, Sigrid clapped her hands and got up from her spot next to Isak. 'How about gifts now?' She asked and moved towards the tree. 'Isak, you're our guest, how about we start with you, darling?'

Isak stared at her in disbelieve. He knew he more or less had mastered the basics of sign language, but he must have misunderstood?! Why would she want to start with him? He wouldn't get any gifts?!

Except that he did.

Sigrid pushed tree little packages his way. Isak just stared at them in utter confusion and surprise, until he felt Even next to him move closer. Only when he felt Even's calming presence, as well as his warm tight pressed against his, Isak was able to move again and slowly pick up one of the gifts.

"Oh, this is from us," Sigrid exclaimed excitedly.

Isak frowned a little while weighing the package in his hand. If this was the gift that Even's parents got him - did that mean the other two were from Even? Fuck, he didn't buy anything for Even. He had been too worried about what to get his parents. Shit.

"You didn't have to... I... thank you," he whispered and blushed a little.

Even pressed his knee harder against Isak and he calmed down within an instant. Though he couldn't hear them, Even still had felt right away that Isak needed him. Isak smiled a little and took a deep breath, before unwrapping. It turned out to be a gift consisting of three parts: a note-book with a quote from Darwin on the cover, an expensive-looking pen, and a reusable coffee-to-go cup with a biology joke on it that probably only he and Even's dad would get.

Isak laughed and then thanked both about a thousand times before giving them his gifts. He wasn't sure why but he kind of wanted them to be busy while unwrapping Even's gifts. And they seemed to understand, giving the boys some space while busying themselves with Isak's gifts and exchanging their own.

Carefully, Isak took the first package and unwrapped it with just as much care. He frowned and turned the book around once he had freed it from its wrapping to read the title even though he didn't have to. He already knew from the cover which book it was and it left him stunned.

 _Folk og rovere i Kardemomme by_.

Within seconds Isak's brain was flooded with memories — memories of his gran reading the book to him whenever she was visiting from Bergen, of watching the play with his school, when she had already died (he cried throughout the whole thing), of playing Constable Bastian when they had adapted the play in primary school... And of telling Even exactly once about his grandmother reading to him when he was a child.

Soft fingers wiped tears from Isak's eyes of which he hadn't even been aware. He looked up to look straight into Even's blue eyes smiling softly at him while Isak's mouth was still wide open with surprise, amazement, wonder.

Isak tried to breathe and failed miserably, instead he sobbed. Quickly, Even wrapped him up in his arms, stroking his back while not letting him out of his sight to make sure Isak was getting enough air and would calm down.

But he couldn't, really, instead, he blurted out something dumb: "God, I love you."


	113. Chapter 113

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Best parents, basically.


	114. Chapter 114

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is more like it with the "I love you".

The room went so quiet that even Even noticed. Or at least he would've if he hadn't been so thunderstruck by Isak's words that he forgot about everything and everyone else.

Yes, he was bad at lip-reading – but these words even he could read. His parents had told him a million times, Sonja had whispered along whenever she signed them, Yousef said them to Sana every other day... _I love you_. He knew that Isak had said it, he just couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe it not because he thought it wasn't true, but rather because he hadn't expected Isak to say them. Not tonight, not anytime soon - maybe not ever.

But he had.

And now he was sitting there, hands clasped in front of his mouth, eyes wide with shock and disbelief. Even though, he probably hadn't even realized yet that Even had understood him. Even tried to grasp for words, tried to think of something, anything to say, because he knew he had to. He knew that Isak wouldn't, that he would pretend that he hadn't said anything of meaning, being sure that Even hadn't understood anyway. So, if he didn't want to risk being stuck in this whole "friends who like each other and have sex"-mess forever, he had to say something right now. But he couldn't, he wasn't capable, his mind was completely blank, and he started to sweat under the pressure he put himself under. It was probably his only chance of ever getting Isak to talk about this and he was totally fucking it up.

And then, once more, Isak surprised him. Slowly, his little hands moved from his mouth and then started to sign words after a moment's pause of insecurity. 'I'm not good with this and I'm sorry... I have no experience with this sort of thing... I mean, I even refused to learn the signs for this... because it always seemed stupid to me, you know? No, that's not it... I simply refused to believe in all of this, because I thought, I could never have it. As that is what I was told since I was a little boy and I guess even though, I didn't want them to influence me like this, they still did. I don't know, why I let them... but I did, and I never thought about it, to be honest. I never let it get to me, let it hurt me, let it mean anything... But I guess it must've been boiling somewhere deep inside me. And then you came along and suddenly everything changed, okay? Suddenly, it started to boil up and it started to mean something, it started to hurt. Sorry, I don't know... I don't make sense, do I? Sorry, but I don't know how to talk about this...'

'No, you do,' Even replied after a minute or so that it took for the words to sink in, that he needed for it to make sense. In fact, it did make a lot of sense. Even never thought that Mikael's theory of Isak being hurt by an ex or something was the reason for him to straight out reject even the possibility of love being real and shutting himself away from his own feelings and potential relationships.

Him being told since he was little for whatever reasons - Even could guess the who, but certainly not the why - that he couldn't have love, be loved, love? It made a lot more sense and it made Even furious. Why would his parents tell this sweet, sweet boy that love was not something he could have? What could possibly make someone hate their own son so much that they would break him in this way?

Even would very much like to give them a piece of his mind, but this probably wasn't the right time to think about this, was it? He could still be angry at Isak's parents later, now he had to redirect his focus on the sweet boy in front of him that was scared to his bone about the fact that he might have just ridiculed himself by talking about his feelings as openly as probably never.

Even put his hand on Isak's cheek and cupped it, while his thumb carefully stroked along Isak's cheekbone. He did that until he could feel that Isak was slowly relaxing, his breath slowing again. Then he let go and put enough distance between them so that Isak could clearly see him. Even smiled at him and brushed a stray curl behind Isak's ear, before he signed the word 'I' and then looked straight into the younger one's eyes, before continuing with 'love', making sure to convey the word's meaning with his eyes, since it was a new word for Isak, and then he ended his sentence with 'you'.

Isak stared at him, eyes wide and his mouth open, while his hands were working on repeating 'love' until it was perfect - probably without Isak being fully aware of it. Even could do nothing but smile at his cuteness.

Once he was sure, he had memorized the sign correctly, Isak looked up at Even again and licked anxiously at his lip. He was unsure if Even had meant it or if he just wanted to show him.

Although Isak was pretty sure he had already used up all his courage earlier, he struggled to find the last remnants left inside him: 'Do you?'

Even frowned at him, confused. 'Do I what?'

Isak bit his lip to stifle what probably would've been a frustrated sigh. '... love... me?'

Instead of a reply, a hand was shoved in his hair and pulled his face towards Even's until their lips were touching. Nothing more, just that. A strong hand in his curls and lips tenderly, but barely touching. It made him feel something he had never felt before: loved. So very, very loved. This soft touch of Even's lips on his made him forget all his doubt. Maybe it even stopped him from doubting himself for some minutes.

Isak wasn't sure for how long they just sat there like this before it suddenly wasn't enough anymore, and he crawled onto Even's lap and pushed his tongue inside his mouth to feel all of him. And they kissed and kissed and kissed until Isak felt dizzy with the feeling. It's not that they haven't kissed like this before - they had, a lot, and when Isak realized what it meant, he had to break off the kiss to catch his breath and to press his hand on his heart that once again did that thing where it felt like it wanted to break free from Isak's chest and attach itself to Even's.

He had been loved all along. Ever since he met Even, he had been loved and he had loved.

Isak smiled an exuberant, blissful smile, before signing: 'I love you.'


	115. Chapter 115

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boyfriends. Finally.


	116. Chapter 116

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak plays Even the song.

You touch these tired eyes of mine  
And map my face out line by line  
And somehow growing old feels fine  
I listen close for I'm not smart  
You wrap your thoughts in works of art  
And they're hanging on the walls of my heart  
  
I may not have the softest touch  
I may not say the words as such  
And though I may not look like much  
I'm yours  
And though my edges may be rough  
I never feel I'm quite enough  
It may not seem like very much  
But I'm yours  
  
You healed these scars over time  
Embraced my soul  
You loved my mind  
You're the only angel in my life  
The day news came my best friend died  
My knees went weak and you saw me cry  
Say I'm still the soldier in your eyes  
  
I may not have the softest touch  
I may not say the words as such  
And though I may not look like much  
I'm yours  
And though my edges may be rough  
I never feel I'm quite enough  
It may not seem like very much  
But I'm yours  
  
I may not have the softest touch  
I may not say the words as such  
I know I don't fit in that much  
But I'm yours


	117. Chapter 117

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry christmas!


	118. Chapter 118

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonas explaining basic relationship etiquette to Isak.


	119. Chapter 119

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cute scene with the mother-in-law.

Isak tiptoed down the stairs and straight into the kitchen around 7 am, when he realized that he probably wouldn't fall back asleep anymore. So, he had carefully taken Even's arm off his middle and crawled out of the bed to feel his way through the dark room, almost stumbling over their bags and Even's armchair on his way out. Only when he was outside, it came to his mind that it might have been a good idea to at least put on a shirt. He didn't want to wake Even up, but walking into one of his parents only with boxers on would be really embarrassing, right? As quietly as possible he reopened the door and groped for his shirt that he had left on the armchair when changing into the dress shirt last night. For a second, he listened to Even's steady breathing with a smile playing on his lips, before closing the door again.

Once he arrived in the kitchen, he pondered on whether to turn the light on, but eventually decided against it, because he wasn't sure if the light would reach all the way to the bedroom of Even's parents. Instead, he crept towards the fridge in the dark and took out a bottle of water.

"There's coffee on the counter, darling." Isak jumped so much, the bottle almost fell to the floor. He turned around to see Sigrid's outline at the kitchen table, her hands wrap around what was probably a cup of coffee.

Isak had to take in several breaths until he trusted himself to speak: "Sorry, I didn't see you... I thought I was the only one up..."

Sigrid turned on the lights, almost blinding Isak because it was so bright all of a sudden. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you... Now... grab yourself a coffee and then let's move to the living room."

Isak nodded dumbly and did as he was told to.

After sitting in what was more or less a comfortable silence for at least five minutes, Sigrid finally cleared her throat: "You don't have to answer, but... as a mother, I would really like to know why a sweet boy like you isn't spending Christmas with his parents."

Isak gulped at her words. So, Even's mom wasn't only a very amicable and caring person, but also straight-forward. Isak had already wondered in what characteristics she differed from Even. Well, it seemed like he'd found one already. "My parents and I don't really talk," he replied, knowing perfectly well that he was avoiding the actual question. "I moved out when I was 15."

Sigrid, however, didn't let him get away with wriggling his way out of it. She would've if she felt like that was what Isak wanted, but she seemed to sense that Isak wanted to talk about it while being unsure of how to do it. She didn't say anything, though, but just kept silently eyeing him, waiting for him to find his courage and the words.

Isak shifted on the sofa and took a deep breath, and then the words were bubbling out of him already as if he had just waited to tell someone. Maybe he had, maybe texting Jonas about it hadn't been enough to lick his wounds, to heal his scars. Maybe he needed an actual adult to tell him that it was okay. So, he told her everything he had written to Jonas.

As soon as he had ended, he was pulled in a bone-crushing hug that took him so much by surprise he actually forgot to breathe for half a minute. Sigrid didn't seem to notice, as she kept pulling him ever closer, stroking at his hair at the same time. "I don't know a lot about religion, darling," she whispered close to his ear. "But I do know a thing or two about love... So, let me tell you that love is never wrong. Love just is and no one can judge. That said... I've never seen quite such an adorable couple like you and Even."

Isak made sure to wipe at his eyes before he broke away from the hug and looked at Sigrid incredulously. "That's not... I mean him and Sonja... they probably were way cuter or... I don't know." He felt himself blush and he quickly lowered his gaze. "You... you really think that?"

Sigrid laughed quietly, still stroking Isak's hair while replying: "Absolutely, I wouldn't say so otherwise. Sonja and Even were a nice couple, yes... But the two of you, it's special. A mother knows that, trust me. And speaking of mothers, I think you should tell your parents, Isak. Not for them, but for you. Tell them about Even, tell them you're happy. I promise it will be liberating for you, darling."

Isak frowned at her. "Why should it be? I don't think... I don't care about them, Sigrid."

But Even's mum patted his arm and smiled at him knowingly. "You do, darling, you do. And it's okay that you do... They're your parents and they always will be, no matter if you're on speaking terms or not. You will always care a little but freeing yourself of their judgment will help you. I promise. But of course, you don't have to do it. You do what feels right to you."


	120. Chapter 120

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak sends a long-overdue message to his parents.


	121. Chapter 121

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YOUR WHAT NOW?


	122. Chapter 122

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone else has the best Christmas of their life.


	123. Chapter 123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It can be their thing.

She is the sweetest thing that I know  
Should see the way she holds me when the lights go low  
Shakes my soul like a pothole every time  
Took my heart upon a one-way trip  
Guess she went wandering off with it  
None like most women I know  
This one will bring it back whole  
Daisies, daisies perched upon your forehead  
Oh my baby, lately I know  
  
That every night I'll kiss you, you'll say in my ear  
Oh we're in love, aren't we?  
Hands in your hair  
Fingers and thumbs, baby  
I feel safe when you're holding me near  
Love the way that you conquer your fear  
You know hearts don't break around here  
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah  
Yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah

She is the river flowin' nowhere  
And tin wind chimes used for doorbells  
Fields and trees and her smell fill my lungs  
Spend my summertime beside her  
And the rest of the year the same  
She is the flint that sparks the lighter  
And the fuel that will hold the flame, oh  
Roses, roses laid upon your bed spread, oh my  
All this, all this I know  
  
But every night I'll kiss you, you'll say in my ear  
Oh we're in love, aren't we?  
Hands in your hair  
Fingers and thumbs, baby  
I feel safe when you're holding me near  
Love the way that you conquer your fear  
You know hearts don't break around here  
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah  
Yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah  
  
Well, I've found love inside  
The arms of the woman I know  
She is the lighthouse in the night  
That will safely guide me home  
And I'm not scared of passing over  
Or the thought growing old  
'Cause from now until I go

Every night I kiss you, you'll say in my ear  
Oh we're in love, aren't we?  
Hands in your hair  
Fingers and thumbs, baby  
I feel safe when you're holding me near  
Love the way that you conquer your fear  
You know hearts don't break around here  
Oh yeah, yeah

Every night I kiss you, you'll say in my ear  
Oh we're in love, aren't we?  
Hands in your hair  
Fingers and thumbs, baby  
I feel safe when you're holding me near  
Love the way that you conquer your fear  
You know hearts don't break around here


	124. Chapter 124

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak tells Even everything and Even shares his secret in return.

Blue was happily running in between the trees in front of Isak and Even to inspect his new home. He seemed to be more than satisfied with it while being blissfully unaware of Isak's internal struggles to come up with a good opener for their upcoming conversation. Even, however, was very aware and just wanted to take the heavy feelings off his shoulders. There was nothing Isak could say that would make Even love him any less. Nothing at all. And Even would love to show Isak, but the only thing he could think of right now was taking Isak's hand in his and squeezing it supportively. A gesture so simple and so minimal, Even didn't think twice about it and he certainly hadn't expected that it would coax out a surprised reaction from Isak - but it did.

His sweet boy stopped in his tracks to stare at their hands in what was apparently utter confusion. Even tilted his head to the side and let go of Isak's hand to ask: 'What? What is it? Why are you so freaked out right now? Should I not do that?' Maybe it was a good thing that they were about to talk because apparently them agreeing to be boyfriends meant different things to Isak than it did for him. Because for Even, it most definitely included being able to hold hands whenever.

Suddenly, Isak shrugged next to him and Even snapped out of his thoughts to look at him. 'No, sorry... I just didn't expect this... Of course, you should. Yes, no... please... Can we sit down somewhere and talk?'

Once Even had nodded, it was Isak who took his hand and they walked hand in hand to the next bench on the side of the path to sit down. For a while they just sat there, quietly holding hands, their knees pressed up against each other and Blue sitting in between Even's leg.

Even had no idea how long it was until Isak freed his hand - and frankly, he didn't care, he'd give this boy all the time he'd need. After all, Even knew all too well how hard it could be to say certain things out loud and he knew he had still a bit of talking to do himself.

But now it was Isak's turn.

'It's... okay, I guess I have to start from the beginning, really... So, the thing is that my parents are really religious... like... with going to church every Sunday and saying your prayers before every meal, but also with... religiously induced rules about what you can and can't do, with talking about sins and condemning sinners. Their favorite target were gay people. So, since I was a kid, I was told that gays were sinners, that there's something wrong with them, that it's unnatural, and that these kinds of people can't have love. It was always the worst when my mum was in a bad place, mentally - she's schizophrenic, you know -she wouldn't talk about anything else. Okay... and then, when I was 15, I realized I had a crush on my best friend and that I was gay, that I was the exact thing my parents hated so much. This led to a lot of internalized homophobia and eventually, to me moving out. That's when I met Eskild, he and his flamboyant self helped me coming to terms with my sexuality, I guess... But my parents' words left their marks on me and because I didn't want to admit to that and because I don't believe in God, I made up my own explanation as to why I can't have love. I just told myself that, scientifically, love doesn't exist. I work well for me, I think... At least as long as I didn't question it. And I didn't, not until you came along.'

It was quite hard for Even to digest Isak's words. With his parents being as they were, he couldn't quite understand how any parent could be like that. He pressed a quick kiss to Isak's lips before replying: 'I'm really sorry that you had to go through all of this... but I'm also so happy that I finally did come along – or rather that you just stumbled into my coffee shop at one day – and that you gave me the chance to make you rethink and unlearn that toxic bullshit. Of course, gay people can have love, they aren't unnatural and there's nothing wrong with them.'

Isak smiled at him while nodding. 'I know that now... I mean I'm not sure if I have committed it to my memory quite yet, but...'

Even budded in before Isak could continue: 'Baby, don't worry, I'll remind you every day if need be.'

Isak blushed heavily and it was just so endearing what Even just had to kiss him again. And again. And maybe one more time. "You're so sweet," Isak whispered – at least Even was pretty sure that's what he had said. And considering his deepening blush, it was probably true. Even just smiled broadly and pretended that he hadn't read Isak's lips.

'I also have to talk about something else... I'm so scared of ruining this, Even. I'm afraid I will fuck everything up because I've never done this before. And Jonas said that I might or that you might or that we both might – because apparently, that's just what happens sometimes with love. But I don't want this to happen to us, Even. I don't want it to ever be over between us.'

Oh dear... Even wasn't sure how to describe the feelings that emerged inside him upon seeing Isak signing that. It was good feelings, for sure, wonderful, extraordinary ones – feelings he never had had before. 'I love you so much and I don't want that to happen either. I know it sometimes does, no matter what people want or how much they love each other, so I can't promise you that it won't happen, Isak. But what I can promise is that I will do everything I can to make this work.'

Slowly Isak nodded and a little smile started to light up his face. 'Yes, okay, that's good, because me too. And Jonas told me that the key to this is communication, you know? I don't usually trust him to be smarter than me, but I think he has a point here. Soooo... I want you to always tell me if I'm doing something wrong, okay? Or if you want something from me or if you need something... I need you to always tell me and to always be honest with me, please.'

'Yes, I'll do that.' Even gulped and locked eyes with Isak. 'In fact, I want to start with that right now. There's something I have to tell you, as well.' While Isak seemed a little confused, but nodded, Even's hands went all sweaty. He could do this, and it would be fine... it would be... it would be, wouldn't it? 'I'm bipolar.' Even held his breath for some seconds waiting for Isak's reaction, but his sweet boy just frowned at him.

'That's it?' He asked after a nerve-racking minute or so. Even stared at him and then gave the smallest of nods. 'Well, if that's that... can we go back now, cause I'm a little cold?!'

It took Even a minute, but then he smiled what was probably his most toothy smile yet and got up from the bench.

'I couldn't love you any more than I do, you sweet, sweet boy.'


	125. Chapter 125

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END.
> 
> Another one done. Even though reposting them here is a lot of work, I'm glad to be able to share them with you here... Whether you read them for the first time or the hundredth... ;-) I hope you enjoy it. And here, they will be forever (probs), even if I decided to not keep Twitter.  
> See you on the next one (I hope) and thanks so much for liking and commenting. It means a lot to me. <333


End file.
